


It Keeps Me Awake

by sleeperagentclone



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allydia - Freeform, F/F, Ghost Allison, Grief/Mourning, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Lots of Crying, Lydia Martin & Scott McCall Friendship, Post-Allison's Death, it's hardly in the show but it is my brotp, too much crying honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6388795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeperagentclone/pseuds/sleeperagentclone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia's alone the first time she see's her. Just for a second out of the corner of her eye she catches a glimpse of a familiar face, of someone that absolutely can not be standing in her room at 3 am. She cries then and when her mother finds her a few hours later her cheeks are still wet with tears. Lydia doesn't tell her what happened and she definitely doesn't tell her that what scared her more then seeing her dead friend was that it had taken her a second to recognize her, that it took her longer then she was even there to realize who it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Keeps Me Awake

Lydia's alone the first time she see's her. Just for a second out of the corner of her eye she catches a glimpse of a familiar face, of someone that absolutely can not be standing in her room at 3 am. She cries then and when her mother finds her a few hours later her cheeks are still wet with tears. Lydia doesn't tell her what happened and she definitely doesn't tell her that what scared her more then seeing her dead friend was that it had taken her a second to recognize her, that it took her longer then she was even there to realize who it was. 

She doesn't see Allison again for thirty-seven days, she knows because she hadn't stopped thinking about her since that night, not that she ever really did. It's the middle of the day this time, third period, history, Kira's dad was lecturing about something or other with most of the class off in their own worlds and suddenly there she was, standing smack dab in the front of the room and staring straight at Lydia. Her grip on her pencil tighten, almost snapping it in half, as she tried to control herself. Lydia's heart was pounding as she listened for the gasps she hoped would come, Scott's voice calling out to the girl who couldn't be there. Anything really that proved that Allison was there, that she was real and Lydia wasn't crazy, but nothing happened. No one screamed or murmured or gave any indication that they saw her. Lydia practically jumped out her seat when Kira spoke. 

"Lydia are you okay?" She said, leaning across the aisle to whisper.   


Lydia tore her gaze away from Allison, who was still standing unmoving and intent on Lydia. "I'm fine, why?" She asked, she thought about faking a smile for a minute but decided against it and went with a more believable look of disinterest instead.   


"It's just that you've been grimacing at the chalkboard for the last five minutes." Kira said gently, genuine concern in her voice.   


Lydia sighed, there was no use lying to her, not when she's just trying to help, she thought to herself. Of course I can't go around telling people I'm seeing the ghost of my dead best friend, that's a whole new level of crazy that I am not ready for. "Honestly I'm not feeling to well," as she said it she realized that it was true, her head was throbbing and her stomach was in knots, "I was actually thinking about going home." She finished.   


Kira's eyes widen and a look of what might have been relief flicked across her face "oh! Of course, you should go get some rest, I can share my notes with you tomorrow and pick up any homework you miss." She offered, smiling kindly at Lydia who had started to gather her things.  
"

"That would be great, thanks." Lydia said with a genuine if strained smile as she stood and hung her purse on her shoulder, her eyes flickered back to Allison whose expression was getting more and more intense by the minute.   


"Happy to help." Kira replied   


Lydia said goodbye and swept out of the room, Allison's eyes followed her the through the door but she made no motion to follow. Lydia couldn't help but notice the look of sorrow on her face.

 

—

 

She see's her everyday after that, always with that frustrated look, sometimes she'd open her mouth but close it again without having said anything. Lydia's glad that she doesn't speak, it makes her easier to ignore, easier for Lydia to pass over her like she isn't there. And she isn't, there not really, Lydia tries to convince herself of this, repeats it over and over in her mind as she sits in class or eats lunch with her friends. She says it so often that she starts to believe it and Allison starts to fade into the background, but she still finds herself turning to speak to her, barely catching herself each time. One day after she'd turned away from Allison and was focusing more than strictly necessary on her salad she just barely hears someone call her name, it's faint and tinny but undeniably Allison. Lydia went rigid and slowly to turned to look at Allison who was smiling widely

"Lydia." She repeated, her voice came through much clearer, like she really was sitting right next to Lydia, like she wasn't six feet under at Beacon Hills cemetery next to her aunts empty grave. "You can hear me!"

Lydia jerked her head away, fixing her eyes on the wall behind Stiles, she heard Allison say her name again and felt the slightest touch on her arm.

"Lydia, please look at me." Allison pleaded, leaning into Lydia's line of sight but Lydia didn't turn or make eye contact. She just couldn't, Allison was dead and she wasn't coming back. Feeding into her delusions would only make it hurt more when she had to face the truth.

"Lydia," she tuned everything out and focused on her breathing, on keeping it together until she was composed to make some excuse and leave 

"Lydia!" Malia practically barked, waving a hand front of the red heads face. Lydia started, visibly shaken and blinked at the other girl. "What's wrong with you?" Malia asked "you're acting weirder then usual."

Lydia blinked again before answering "I-I have to go." She said hurriedly, getting up from the table.

Kira gently put her hand on the frazzled girls arm "Please, tell us what's wrong, we want to help." She pleaded

"Tell her, it's not like a ghost would be the weirdest thing that's ever happened to us." Allison agreed

Lydia shook her head "I'm fine," she insisted "I think I have that bug that's been going around, I'll be better to tomorrow."

She thinks she see’s tears roll down Allison cheeks. But it’s not Allison, she reminds herself, it’s something else. Anything else. She leaves without her things.

_

Lydia doesn't come back to school until Monday. The bags under her bloodshot eyes are on display for the world to see. She only speaks once all day, to thank Kira for holding on to her bag for her, and even then her voice is barely above a whisper. She’s afraid, afraid that if she speaks she’ll slip up and talk to the Thing that looks like Allison. It tried to speak to her again but stopped after the second day of being ignored and spent the rest of of the weekend flickering in and out of Lydia’s room always with the same concerned look on her face.

Lydia kept her head down all day, eyes always trained on her desk or her shoes. it wasn't until the final bell rang and she was preparing to rush out the door that she was forced to rejoin the world around her. “Goddamn it Lydia”  The Thing said, sharply. Lydia flinched as she looked up reflexively. “Please just look at me.” It’s voice was softer this time, pleading.

Lydia looked it straight in the eyes as tears welled up in her own  “I can't.” she whispered, her voice breaking.  Allison took a step forward and reached for the other girl's hand to stop her from leaving but passed right through her. Lydia turned and ran from the room falling in with the crush of students filing out of the school. She hadn't made it ten feet before Allison appeared in front of her again, looking more determined then ever. Lydia went to step around her but was stopped when a strong hand grabbed her wrist.

“Lydia please, I don't know how long I can keep this up.” Lydia looked up and met Allison's gaze 

“You’re real.” Silent tears ran down her face. “You're here.” 

“In the flesh.” Allison said with a small smile.

“But how? you're dead, I  _ felt  _ you die.”

Allison slid her hand down so her fingers were intertwined with Lydia’s ”I really don't know. One minute I was laying in Scott's arms and then there was nothing. That lasted for what felt like an eternity.” Allison looked down at their linked hands “One day I was thinking about you and next thing I know I’m your room, it was so fast. I wasn't even sure if it was real or just wishful thinking. I never gave up hope though, I kept trying and trying and well, here we are.” She gestured around them with her free hand.

Lydia just stared at her with wide eyes, still don't believing that she was real. But she was, Allison was standing in front of her,  _ holding her hand,  _ and looking more than a little anxious. Lydia wanted to say something, say that she thought of her too. To tell Allison all the things she never had the courage to when she was alive. But as she looked into those beautiful eyes she never thought she’d get to see again all those words disappeared and she was left with only one option. She took a step closer to the other girl, so their bodies were almost touching, eyes never leaving Allison's. Part of her excepted to be met with air when she leaned in, but instead she found soft lips, cooler than she imagined they’d be. Allison wasted no time in reciprocating, pulling Lydia closer and wrapping an arm around her waist. Lydia didn't realize the brunette was crying until she raised a hand to her face, she leaned back and wiped the tears away. Allison let out a breathy laugh, “and here I thought a werewolf would be my weirdest relationship.” Lydia gave her a sad smile, leaning her forehead against Allison's. “I can't stay. I’m already fading.” Allison's voice caught in her throat 

“We’ll get you back,  _ I’ll _ get you back.” Lydia's tone was determined despite the quiver.

Allison squeezed the other girl's hand “if anyone could do it, it would be you.” Her voice was soft and sounded far. Lydia kept her eyes closed as she felt Allison disappear. The sounds of the still crowded hall grew as she returned her focus to the world around her. 

She slowly opened her eyes when she heard someone call her name. Malia was standing in front of her, a concerned look on her face. “Lydia.” She repeated “we should go.” She nodded to the side. Lydia looked and noticed the circle of students and teachers standing around her, all with various expressions of horror and surprise on their faces. Lydia nodded and let Malia take her arm and guide her through the crowd. She saw Kira and Stiles at the end of the hall, holding the door open and trying to coax Scott outside but he was rooted in place staring back past Lydia, to where Allison was not a minute before. Lydia took Scott's hand when they reached the door He met Lydia's eyes for a moment before looking down, avoiding everyone's sympathetic eyes and letting Stiles push him through the door. Lydia kept a tight grip on his hand, needing the one person who might understand by her side. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, sorry this sucks I just have ~feelings~  
> I might make a sequel is anyone is interested


End file.
